Buy My Book or I'll Waterboard You

(Recycled from last March 28th)    
     Just kidding.
     As some of you may know, my newest novel, Gods of Our Fathers, got two nibbles on St. Patrick's Day. One is an agent in N. Hollywood and the other a New York-based agency. The former asked for the entire manuscript. The latter, the first three chapters. Maybe I'm just Charlie Brown about to finally kick that football but I'm letting myself get cautiously optimistic that this book will get some competent representation and it'll finally put me on the map. After all, if Lyndsay Faye can get a trilogy of novels about the early NYPD published and a high-powered agent in William Morris Endeavor to rep her, then my new novel about the start of the Boston PD should get some respect, too, especially as I'm a better novelist than Faye.
     In the meantime, I still have to pretend as if I have an actual marketing platform and to try to sell my paperbacks (I'm no longer pushing my Kindle titles since Amazon went with that despicable pay-by-the-page bullshit last July 1st). What follows is a list of the titles I wish to sell through Createspace's estore. It's an Amazon affiliate, but at least the royalties aren't conditional.
     Gods of Our Fathers, a fictionalized account of the beginning of the Boston Police Dept. When fugitive slave Anthony Burns is arrested, it literally sets Boston in flames. Then former escaped slave Constable "Vesey" Van Zant of the Boston PD must also contend with a series of murders getting closer to his house.
     Tatterdemalion, a sweeping historical epic on a par with Caleb Carr's The Alienist and The Angel of Darkness. What happens when Scott Carson, a young genius, teams with Buffalo Bill, Annie Oakley, Sitting Bull, Arthur Conan-Doyle and Sigmund Freud to catch Jack the Ripper?
     You've seen his byline here for going on eight years. Now read American Zen, Mike Flannigan's account of a wild trip up and down the northeast seaboard in the first days after Barack Obama's election to solve the most nagging mystery of his life: Who broke up the band in 1978?
     Tatterdemalion's narrator Scott Carson comes back in The Kid, a short story recounting his first adventure in 1873 New York with one of the most notorious figures in American history.
     The Misanthrope's Manual is a liberal-oriented rejoinder to Ambrose Bierce's justly famous satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. Written in the 90's, it offers over 1000 definitions to common words, phrases and historical events told as only a true misanthrope can.
     I'll tell you what I'll even do: Since offering a free Amazon gift card for the 10th purchase of a specific title is a little too unrealistic, considering how anemic my sales are, I'll send at random to whoever says they bought one of my novels a $25 Amazon gift card. My email address is Crawman2@yahoo.com.